Lost Satellite Reception—A Dance with PMS
My PMS hit me like a ton of bricks last Friday. Yes, even though I help women daily who struggle with hormonal imbalances, I too was affected. I want to share some of my experience and hope that you may find it helpful.
Our home is on the market. If you’ve ever done this, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It is quite HELLISH to keep a house with children in it neat and tidy. I think I have a fairly clean and organized house. I’m not super crazy about it, but when things are semi organized and the dishes are done for the evening, it gives me a sense of satisfaction.
We were alerted Thursday that we would have another showing of the house on Saturday. This meant Friday I had to get the whole house spic and span. Why do I tell you this? I want to set the stage for a really important message.
I was due to get my period in the next few days. I had felt pretty stable emotionally and physically in the week leading up to this epic house cleaning day. But, Friday is my “day off” from the medical practice I am a practitioner at. It is my day to write, do my creative things, and just be a mom. I need this day! It is crucial to my overall balance. We’ve had a lot of stress and uncertainty in our life as a family lately as we plan our move, and our lives.
So, when I had to launch into a long house cleaning event the day my body craved, and NEEDED, calm, relaxation, and restoration…it went south for me emotionally. I was plugging through the cleaning and getting majorly distracted frequently. I had to take a few breaks where I just had to lay down and breathe, with a hand on my heart and one on my womb.
I could sense my imbalance growing. This major press to get it all done on Friday was so I could relax that evening and be DONE WITH IT for the weekend. Why it all had to get done that day was my own imposed constraint.
My emotions were tipping over to irritation, anger, and depression as the day progressed. Then, when my husband’s friend arrived to pick him up for a weekend event, he asked me a bit into his brief visit while I was stressing out, “Are you Okay?” That did it…that threw me over the edge!
You know what I am talking about, right? When you are barely holding your s**** together, and someone asks, “Are you okay”, or “what’s wrong?” EEEK! It’s never good, well, in least my case!
I tried to reply, “oh, I’m fine, just stressed”, or some excuse like that, but man, on man, the tears started streaming down. My husband reluctantly had to say goodbye, but did not in any way, want to leave me in this state. I told him to go, have a great time, and that I would be fine. I knew instinctively, that I would be. I just needed to get the heck out of the house—I was going to stay with the kids at my mom’s house, to hang out and keep the house clean.
Why do I share this? Because, one, I want you to know that almost every woman I know encounters this from time to time. Some do regularly.
I believe it is a call out from our souls, from the deepest part inside us that is our radar. Interestingly, when my husband was hugging me goodbye, the GPS he had set to his destination, which was lying by the door, reported during that moment “LOST SATELLITE RECEPTION” in its monotone voice.
My husband, who can always make me laugh, said, "Sweetie, you’ve lost your satellite reception" I laughed, and knew, that yes, I HAD.
The PMS symptoms that derailed me were just a light on the dashboard of my body/mind/spirit that I needed to honor my body wisdom. If I had indeed followed my feminine flow, which I wrote about in my last blog post, I would have most likely found myself on the lakeside, soaking up the sun. I DID DO THAT the next day, and it was heavenly medicine for my soul.
In the moments of my weepiness, and darkness, I felt lost, and like I had nothing to hold onto. It is a frightening feeling for me, as I suffered with a few years of depression and anxiety in the past.
I WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe that many of our physical symptoms are manifestations of emotional/spiritual imbalances. I believe my “derailment” as I call it was just my body/mind’s way of alerting me that the self-care I denied myself earlier in the month and week leading up to my cycle beginning was harming me.
Many of us do not live a life that allows us to follow our bodies’ instincts, and find the flow of the day, moment, week that our bodies and spirits so desperately crave.
If you find yourself in a dance with PMS, pain, depression, anxiety, or whatever shadow walks with you….I urge you to take a closer look at this. What self-care does your body/mind/spirit call out for you to do? What obstacles keep you from this? I hear from many women I care for that they feel extremely guilty to excuse themselves from their many responsibilities to take care of themselves.
I hear you on that, I really do. I know. But, is LOSING OUR SATELLITE RECEPTION worth it? If we have no grounding, if we have no central cord, how the heck do we expect to keep all the balls in the air?
PRACTICE SELF-LOVE, SELF-CARE….and it definitely takes practice. I will be continuing to practice this and teaching every woman I come in contact with the same thing.
With much love and gratitude,